I think Bad Man Murphy in love with me. You know that chap who believe, "if anything can go wrong, it will?" Yes, he same one. He been sticking by me side ever since I land up in this foreign place to help take care o' mama.
Y'know, it ain't even as if he is handsome like Hugh.
He kinda look like that creep hiding under the bed.
Hairy and cover-up with dust.
He got leery red eyes and long-long claws full o'...I don't even want to think about it, about he not practising hygiene.
He can stay 'way from me even if he was rich like Musk or Murdoch. Murphy is just a plain ole plague and pestilence.
Some women would love he, Murphy, no matter what because, to them (according to the Trini song), any man is man.
Anyways, y'know what Murphy do to me now?
He make the aliens kidnap me Tuesday afternoon.
Me friends, I couldn't understand why he would do something like that. But then, I realise it is like when a li'l boy like a li'l gal in school, and he torment she soul. That is what Murphy been doing to me.
So, me dears, see me lying in that chair, mouth open wide like I want to ketch fly, bright light glaring in me right eye every time the aliens move back and forth. They stick things in me mouth, a blue rubbery funnel; and they jook a fat object in me jaw that go bzzzzzaaaaw, they jab me with needle in me gum.
Time drag like ten billion years, but when they release me, it was still Tuesday afternoon.
To make matters worse, they rob me of me li'l bit o' cash too. (No, me dears, I still don't want Musk or Murdoch, I gon sell me books and become me own mogul).
I call me sister and she had to take me to buy medication to ease me pain and sorrow.
One whole week almost I been in distress, mouth hurting, one side o' me face swell like Auntie Jay face. Fat and round and hang down a little bit by me jaw-line. Sort of like a baby-face, but older than a baby. My mother say Auntie Jay...not a real-blood auntie...whole family got a face like that.
I turn the corner now, been dancing in the kitchen though me gum still slightly sore.
I working on a plan to chase Murphy away.
Y'all take care. When I chase Murphy, look out for he and run. Have a lovely week. Eat good food, drink plenty water, read a nice book. Plenty lurve, neena xxx.
Oooh, speaking of nice book!
I taking part in the Smashwords July book sale. Look here:
I try and avoid Murphy, but sometimes he sneaks his way into my life anyway.
ReplyDeleteI am smiling (and wincing) at the description of your visit to the torture chambers. Here at least they charge like wounded bulls for the 'privilege'. I hope your poor mouth is feeling better.
My mouth is much better, Child. A little sore, but I'm feeling like a human being again. I think Murphy is the devil's child. I wonder who his mother is.
DeleteDentist time moves so slowly - 10 minutes can last 4 hours. Internet time, on the other hand works in the other direction - 4 hours can pass and yet I would swear I've only been on it for 10 minutes!
ReplyDeleteKim, it's the same as having fun with loved ones...time seems to fly, but when we look back, we remember hours of things said, done, eaten. Yet, if we think back to a boring stretch of time, lasting hours, we remember only that one, single boring activity.
DeleteOuch I can relate. Ten days later and I'm still on pain killers. I'm glad to hear your mouth is improving, gives me hope mine will too!
ReplyDeleteHow are you now, Joey? I had something done to the gums, maybe it wasn't as major as yours, and that could be why I've recovered faster. I hope you're better as I type here. xx
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