Saturday, 7 April 2018

The Manual

Dear Friends,

I finally learning to do some new things on this old-new-recycled laptop.

Which make me think how much time and effort it does take to learn this stuff. I just give birth to ten cows trying to learn to upload photos from iPhone to this piece o' metal here.

Which remind me o' the time I wasn't patient with me dear, darlin' old Ma.

Was a time many moons ago, and plane rides to and from Florida, and flu...flues...viral infection and pillows and a big bed...

... and many cowboy pikchas also known as Westerns in Civilised Language...

...I sit down in me mother room in Florida, looking out at the morning mist, wheezing like a geezer with bronchial infection...

...and I hand-write, hand-draw, a manual for me mother on how to use she tablet, noooo, not the tablet you swallow...the one that load you up on to the Internet. Doing this manual, I think, "Aaaah, me mother gon be like them new-style Oldsters, hip and zipping in Cyber-Space."

To cut a long story short.

She learn how to find songs on YouTube. And how to call people.

But the autocorrect correct she into submission.

Nothing don't defeat me mother though.

She say, "Text you' brother and ask he what time he gon be home so I can call he."

And me, the caring daughter, go into conniptions. Lecturing. Preaching. Trying to teach she how to text.

This year, January 2018, I get a new friend, Epiphany.

Epiphany say, "You! You is a' ungrateful wretch. Remember when you' mother sit on the Internet for two weekends, while you in Guyana and she in Florida, and she teach you how to work out taxes? Remember how you so dunce yet she never once lose she cool with you? What it gon take from you to text you' brother for she? Put that in you' pipe and smoke it, you cow you!"

Shame knock me down for six...

...ooooh, sorry folks, I smelling other people food in this good ol' apartment by the sea, I gone to cook some lunch.......

Now that I know how to get photies on this laptop, we gon have a li'l bit o' fun.

From here to there and everywhere. Sometimes nowhere. Every day is an adventure.


  1. Hooray for wrastling and hog-tying technology into submission. I am a woeful techno-cow puncher.

    1. Child, I think you're doing way better than me. I fumble.

  2. I can relate. I finally have a mobile phone, not because I want one but because I know if I don't keep up with technology I'm going to end up being one of these old farts that can't do anything. I look forward to seeing more photos. And look after those cows.

    1. Joey, and the blogger app isn't on my ancient, inherited-from-my-nephew iPhone. I am one not happy blogger.

      I will sell the cows [steak / leather] [don't tell the vegans] and buy a super-speedy laptop-tablet.

  3. Glad you're wrestling the old/new laptop into submission. Always enjoy reading your writings :)

    1. Kim, I spend so much time editing. But I miss blogging. So I've decided that every week, once a week...BLOG.

  4. My children berate me because I don't text and don't what's at but what's wrong with email? Love it!
    Posting photos has become very difficult but as long as I can keep posting an 'Imperfect Life' I can't grumble.

  5. Pat, Whatsapp is so easy, you will wonder why you haven't done it before. Because of it, I can hear my mother's voice every single day. We chat two times a day, sometimes 3. For five, ten minutes, sometimes, half an hour. You can do video chats too, but I have to teach my mother how.