Dear Friends, Fellow Explorers, Curious Ones,
Today, I remember a stranger-woman in the bank who been telling me about she man who useta beat she. (Please note: I ain't ask the lady she business...she turn to me and start talking. Being a good citizen, I listen and commiserate).
Next thing I know, every Sheila and Shirley sitting near we turn to listen. Then the whole group of eavesdroppers throw in they two cents about what the woman should do.
And guess what!
The woman didn't mind. She listen to everybody advice. She enjoy the attention.
This sorta thing would kaffuffle a foreigner from a Big City, no? I ain't know. I always hear that people in Big City don't care what you do. They mind they own business. Anybody from Big City can confirm this for me?
Plenty times, in my own native land, I in a queue forming conversation with acquaintance, and I can see the ears of every man-and-woman-jack quivering with excitement.
In other words, my dears, we the people is just plain.....
I ain't gon lie. I can be a li'l fass too. But, ow, we need to have limits, no?
You can't dig people for they story just so plain out: "You married, why you ain't married, how much children you got, why you ain't got children, how much you buy that furniture for, if you don't mind me asking, how much rent you paying, if you don't mind me asking?"
Yes, I mind. And I does answer: "I don't want to say."
And if people start to dash too many questions, I learn to ask them: "Why you asking?" I say it in a soft, puzzled way. They never know how to reply. Hehe.
As a writer who love to collect experiences...my own and other people...of course I want to hear stories. But, I ain't prying.
As a human being in a community, I share stories too if I know they gon help the other person.
But I like me li'l privacy. Some things, nobody don't need to know. We got to know how to balance being fass with respecting privacy, nah?
When all is said and done, I don't know if I could handle the anonymous ways of Big City...or what I imagine Big City life to be.
I does wonder if this shortage of fassness is why so many people suffer from loneliness (even pre-covid).
It make me realise why we must call people we know who live alone. We ain't being fass. We only caring.
Plenty love, neena xx
I live in a city. Perfect strangers frequently tell me their life stories (on the bus, in the stores). I am happy to listen. I don't share a lot, but will always listen. Which sends my partner crazy. Tough. His loss.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, Child, I suspected people would tell you their stories because they know you would listen. You're kind, compassionate, you've got a caring heart. Bless the listeners of this world. xx
DeleteListening is an art. There are a couple of people I know who I don't know anything about. Whenever we meet I ask how they are and without me realising they barely say anything before gently turning the conversation around and asking me questions.
ReplyDeleteEverytime we meet I am determined to find out a little more about them, and yet we can talk for a long time only for me to realise afterwards that once again I have revealed loads about myself and discovered nothing about them.
But it is not for want of trying...
Kim, I had to laugh. I know the kind of people who do this. I know someone who is intensely private, yet he is one of the sweetest in the world.
DeleteWhat would happen if you didn't get "seduced" into revealing loads about yourself, I wonder? The silence, the silence. No conversation would take place.
Some of us, like you and me, are just extroverts.
I think we learn from each other...outgoing people & introverts.
I once wrote a short story - although I don't think I ever put it anywhere - about a woman who made the most amazing shortbread, but it was the only thing anyone knew about her because she would always steer the conversation away from herself and offer people another piece of her delightful shortbread. :)
ReplyDeleteWhoa, Kim. How come you never had it published? Haven't entered it in the Commonwealth Short Story competition?
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